


Is It All Alright? (Even If It Isn't)

by kycantina



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, M/M, canon compliant at the time I'm posting, levi deserves better, no love here folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:27:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23142439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kycantina/pseuds/kycantina
Summary: "He's never going to apologize, is he?" He asks the empty walls, the stale hardwood that doesn't smell enough like home.
Relationships: Nico Kim/Levi Schmitt
Comments: 10
Kudos: 95





	Is It All Alright? (Even If It Isn't)

It's enough when Nico's teeth drag down to the corner of his neck, it's enough when Levi swallows his 'no' and lets himself be placated. It's enough when he's too tired and love-drunk to pay attention to where they're going, to notice the press of Nico's fingers on his spine. It’s enough that Nico’s “maybe seeing other people”. It's enough to make Levi forget that there's anything  _ off _ about them, that they could be at  _ their _ apartment together, instead of in an on-call room in dire need of disinfectant, if Nico wasn't so damn stubborn.

"He's never going to apologize, is he?" He asks the empty walls, the stale hardwood that doesn't smell enough like home (that doesn't smell like his mom, Levi realizes with a sudden jolt. Or like Nico). Levi misses Taryn (still on bed rest, only a few weeks left). He's jealous of her, he realizes, with a sick twist of his gut. At least Taryn  _ knows _ Meredith doesn't love her, with Nico he's never sure. 

The things he wishes he could say to Nico (without the fear of losing him) bubble up in his throat. He's curled up against Levi, heavy with sleep. It's an on-call room, of all places. Neither of them have worked in days. "Sometimes it feels like this is it." He mumbles, partly to the linoleum floor, partly to Nico. "I just- I was hoping for more of a romance, you know? more of a commitment."

Levi's on the edge of tears, Nico stirs beside him.

"I thought we talked about this." His voice is low, hinting at exasperation and sleepiness. "I'm not going to change myself just because you think we live in some sappy medical drama,  _ Levi _ , stop asking."

"It's just-" Levi swallows hard.  _ It's just I thought we could grow out of this. it's just I've said everything I can to make you stay. It's just that I thought you'd figure out a way to want me enough to love me. To make keeping me around worth it. _ "- I thought we could have a future together. I thought moving in was the logical next step to whatever was coming next."  _ Was _ . The word rots in his mouth. 

Nico laughs bitterly, of all things. "I could never marry you, Levi, you can cross that one off."

_ Already have _ . Levi’s stomach turns as he shifts away from Nico. “It’s perfectly fucking legal.” He mumbles, letting the words rot in his mouth. 

“You know that’s not what I mean.” Nico rolls closer, lips and teeth against his neck. 

“I don’t.” Levi sits up, gingerly taking Nico’s hands off of his stomach, his hips. “I can’t right now, Nic, I gotta go.” He tugs his scrubs back on, gets up to go. Levi’s halfway to the door when Nico blurts out:

“You know I love you, right?” The first time he’s said it out loud. 

Levi pauses. “I know.” He doesn’t. 


End file.
